An Idea for Fixing Burnout OR how to make choices when even picking up the TV remote feel like so much work!
I just had a call from a woman who has been job hunting for a long time. She (a repeat client, one I love talking to) was feeling, as she put it, “crispy.” She was in the middle of a cross-country move, working several part-time jobs, a fight with family was stressing her out, her relationship was going through a rough patch. But she had two job offers and she needed some help choosing between them.
One was for a remote job that she could do in her sweatpants on the sofa, but the company did some things that really weren’t aligned with her values.
The other offer was an in-person job with a tough commute, but the work was interesting and stimulating and she’d have a lot of freedom to make the job what she wanted it to be. She was excited about the organization, enthusiastic about the mission.
But, she was tired. And stressed. She called me because she needed help deciding between what felt easy and what felt right.
Overworked, over-worried, overstretched….I’ve had a lot of clients like this recently! Burnout is replacing loneliness and isolation as the most common issue I see in sessions.
Now, this is an armchair diagnosis, based solely on the calls I’ve been getting lately (🚨🚨🚨 I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A THERAPIST 🚨🚨🚨 THIS IS A GUESS MADE PURELY ON VIBES 🚨🚨🚨), but it seems to me that burnout is really wreaking havoc right now.
A few symptoms I’ve seen in people suffering from burnout, and how they’re manifesting:
1) a lack of self-confidence
(Can I even do this thing I actually want to do?)
2) a feeling of overwhelm
(Everything seems like way too much work right now; I can’t even get up the energy to make dinner)
3) and, of course, an inability to make decisions
(How can I trust that the decision I’m making is the right one?)
How can you make good decisions for Future You when you’re burnt out?
A common solution proposed for people dealing with burnout is rest. And I do recommend rest. And vacations! (Do you know how many people who have the time/money to take a vacation have to be reminded to take a vacation?) I love rest! I’m going to take a nap as soon as I send this newsletter. But for lots of the clients I’ve been talking to lately, I get the sense that rest isn’t the answer when it comes to making a big decision.
Whether it’s a move to a new city or taking a job offer, I do not tell them to choose the thing that seems the most restful.
I tell them to choose the thing that feels the most EXCITING.
Because I think that one cure for burnout can often be enthusiasm, doing something you enjoy, and just….having fun. Remember fun?
If this client of mine took the remote job, the one that seemed to be the easy route right now, I could almost guarantee that she’d be job-hunting again in a couple of months. But if she took the job that actually excited her, she’d be energized. Energy is a key counteraction to burnout.
And, here’s the twist:
It is in fact easier to do the exciting thing than the easy thing.
Because excitement gives you energy, hope, anticipation for the future. You get hyped to do the thing!
The easy choice, the one that doesn’t propel you forward, usually means your energy continues to get sucked away by boredom and a sense of stagnation.
So, what I suggest is that you don’t pick the easy thing.
You pick the invigorating thing.
And see where that takes you.
